Educating the Dogs

I grew up with dogs. They are almost like people in that they have different personalities and behavior patterns.  Some of this seems to be innate, and some of it is conditioning by their environment and how they are treated. They definitely have a pack mentality and sometimes try to intimidate you until you show them who's boss. I think they are also territorial, which is why when I ride past their house on a bike, they bark and sometimes chase me. "My house, my yard. Get away!" Or maybe they just enjoy chasing things. Chasing cars is either brave or stupid, because an 80 pound dog could never win against a two ton metal beast. But they still do it.

When I was about 17 years old, I was riding my bike to a friend's house. I knew there was one house in the neighborhood with an aggressive Dalmatian. He always came running from the side of the house barking for all he was worth, and he didn't stay in his yard. I could usually pedal hard and pull away from him, and he would chase me down the street a ways. But this day he got the drop on me and came streaking across the lawn, leading me and aiming at the point where we would meet. He was barking aggressively as usual. I was peddling hard, but I could see I wasn't going to make it past him before he reached the road. At the last minute I stopped peddling, planted my butt on my seat, aimed my foot at the dog's head, and straight-legged him. The bike was moving along fast enough that the force of the impact nearly knocked me off the back of my bike. The blow to the side of the head spun the dog twice before he hit the ground and rolled over a couple times. He never chased me after that. He would come running out from the side of his house barking like mad. Then he would see it was me, skitter to a stop, and watch me go by whining to himself.

Another day, on an unfamiliar road, I was riding my bike and a big German Shepherd came after me. Some dogs just bark at you from their yard. "Stay out! This is MY place!" Some actually come onto the road and try to bite. This German Shepard was running fast, leading me, and he didn't stop.
I remembered one time when I went with my brother at 4:00 in the morning on his paper route. He was driving his car and came to the place where a dog always chased his car. It seems most dogs are smart enough to lead fast moving vehicles instead of running straight at them. At the last moment, my brother slammed on his brakes and the dog ran onto the road in front of him. Then he gunned the engine and started chasing the dog down the road. The dog was so surprised he ran straight down the road for a bit before it finally occurred to him to run off the side of the road.
So I waited until the big German Shepherd was close and slammed on my bike's brakes. Sure enough, he ran in front of me. Then I started peddling for all I was worth! He was also caught off guard by the sudden role reversal, becoming the pursued instead of the pursuer. He ran down the edge of the road, looking over his shoulder at me bearing down on him. He finally ran off into the field next to the road and didn't chase me anymore.

Fast forward about ten years... We lived at the end of a rural road and our neighbors had a couple dogs that would chase cars. They would actually try to bite the tires, and the question crossed my mind whether the twisting wheel could possibly break a dog's neck if he got his teeth in it. One morning when I was leaving for the university, one of the dogs came running from the woods to my left. He seemed to be after my left front tire, snapping and snarling at it. Then a  mischievous thought entered my head. I stomped on the gas pedal and opened my door. The accelerating car door spanked the running dog on the rump. He ran off back into the woods, yelping as he went.

When I was living in a two story house in California, the house next to us was about 12 feet away, just wide enough for a sidewalk on either side of the fence. There was a pit bull-type dog living next door who liked to bark at people jogging or driving to work around 4 or 5 in the morning. His gate was directly under our bedroom window, and close sides of the houses seemed to amplify the sound. This went on for weeks and the owner never attempted to make the dog be quiet. I even hissed and growled at him to be quiet, which made him stop for about 5 minutes before resuming his early morning tirade. One night my pregnant wife was woken by the dog barking. I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I went down to the kitchen and filled the largest pot I could find with water. Then I took it up and placed it under our bedroom window. I carefully took out the screen and pulled it inside. It was a balmy spring night so I left the window wide open and went back to bed. I had almost drifted off to sleep when the loud barking started up again. I slid out of bed, hefted the large kettle, and extended it out the window. The dog heard my movement, looked up and saw me, and started running for his back yard. Too late. About 3 gallons of water hit him squarely on the head and back (I also knew how to lead a target). He was moving at a brisk trot, but when the water hit him, his tail end squatted down and he launched into full speed. The image flashed through my mind of the neighbor knocking on our door and throwing a bowl of water in my face.
For nearly a year, the dog whined quietly under our window, but never barked. I heard him barking on the other side of the neighbor's house, but he didn't bark on our side. One evening when the window was open I heard him whine. I quietly turned off the light in the room and looked out the glass side of the window. He was watching someone walking on the sidewalk across the street. He would whine, then look up at our window, then look across the street and whine again, then check above him once more. Amazing that it only took one dowsing for him to behave that long!