Friends & Trust

You might be wondering what these two images have in common? Well, I'm sure many people drink on hayrides. (Hopefully, not the dude driving the tractor!) But in this case, I'm telling two stories here so I need two pictures, right?

I learned a difficult lesson when I was 13 years old. I went to a small church school where there were only 1 to 3 kids in each grade. Even at that young age I was plagued with crushes on girls. There was a girl I went to school with, but didn’t know very well, who I had a crush on. I’ll call her Lucy, just in case this story is ever read by her or because of the extremely remote chance that someone else might remember what happened.

This was the only time in my life I rode a bus to school. I saw her on the bus, but she was always talking with her friends and her sister. I saw her in the classroom but we never really talked with each other. I suppose I have to admit that the main reason I had a crush on her was because I thought she was a pretty girl. It turns out I wasn’t the only guy who thought that.

One night our church had a bonfire and hayride. Usually those events were a time to run around, hide in the dark, play tricks on people or games with my friends. But Lucy was there… without her sister. Since no one was occupying her attention, I mustered the courage to walk up and start a conversation. I don’t remember what we talked about, but we ended up sitting together on the hayride.

We talked and laughed together. Lucy noticed some flowers passing by below us as the hayride passed. She reached down and I grabbed her hand to steady her. Technically this was holding hands, but certainly not in a romantic way. She continued to lean down to grab the flowers as they passed and weave them into a neat little wreath.

I don’t remember what happened the rest of that night. But the next week my Mom got a call from Lucy’s mother. Lucy was very upset and in tears. At first I couldn’t imagine what it might have to do with our family or me. Then Mom explained that some boys from school had been saying I held her hand – boys who were not there that night on the hayride.

At this point my memory was jolted and I remembered a couple boys asking me if I was interested in any girls. Knowing that they thought of Lucy as a popular and beautiful girl, I made the stupid mistake of bringing her name up and mentioning hand-holding. I guess hand-holding was a pretty big deal for 13-year-olds.

With a few more years experience under my belt, I would have known better than to tell those guys anything in confidence. They were trouble-makers who liked to stir things up. And they were probably jealous as well. But these things obviously had not entered my mind during my “guy talk” chat with my classmates.

Now I had to do one of the most humiliating and embarrassing things I had ever endured up to that point in my young life. I had to call her and apologize, my Mom told me, and I knew it was the right thing to do. I was already embarrassed with the knowledge of what had happened. My careless talk had caused Lucy such anguish that she was crying. Man! How I hated myself at that moment!

I called Lucy’s house and her mother answered the phone. I identified myself and asked to talk to Lucy. “Yeah, I’m the jerk that ruined your daughter’s week,” I thought to myself. When she came to the phone, I told her I was sorry about the rumor and that I had no idea a casual comment would cause so much trouble. I told her I never meant to say anything that would hurt her. She said it was ok, then we said goodbye.

I don’t remember ever talking with her again after that day. I don’t think I ever tried, being pretty sure I had blown any chance I had at getting to know her better. But I learned more than one thing from that experience. I learned not to share my secret wishes or hopes with just anyone, even in a casual or limited way. I learned not to brag to braggarts. I learned that even a small, flippant comment can do a lot of damage if you don’t consider the consequences. Most of all, I learned to guard the trust of my friends carefully.

On a lighter note and unrelated subject, but still in the vein of trust and friends, I had a friend in high-school who had an unorthodox method of determining who he could trust. This happened about 4 years after the previous story. I was in a boy’s dorm at a Christian boarding academy.

My friend, Mike, was just down the hall. He was sharp, funny, and very athletic. We did some crazy things together. One day I was talking with him in his room with another friend of ours. It was one of those breaks we had from the crazy rush of classes, meals, and work.

In the middle of our conversation he casually reached over to his desk and picked up an aluminum Budweiser can. He leaned back in his chair and took a long drink. Then he wiped his mouth and let out his breath “Aaaahhh! That’s good stuff!” At first I’m sure I looked surprised, and then I smiled. “Hey, aren’t you worried the dean is gonna see that?”

“Nah! He’s not around. He left for the weekend. You want to try it?” He held the beer can in my direction. “Is that really beer? How did you get it here?” I asked. I suspected he was up to something, based on his mischievous grin and the fact I’d heard beer didn’t really taste good at all. He set the can on the desk again as a fourth guy entered the room.

“Hey, guys! How’s it going?” Will said. His eyes zeroed in on the Budweiser can on the desk. Again, Mike lifted the can to his mouth and took a big gulp, finishing with a sigh of satisfaction and licked his lips. “You want some?” He held the can out to Will. “No, no, it’s ok.” Will said quickly.

Our conversation turned to other things and after about 5 minutes, Will left the room. About 2 minutes after he left, the dean’s wife came storming into the room. She walked straight to the desk and picked up the Budweiser can. She sniffed it deeply, then shrugged, “Smells like 7-UP.” She looked intently at Mike. He also shrugged, “I guess it is!”

At this point, Will, who had been watching and craning his neck from the hall, vaporized into thin air. The dean’s wife, did an military-like about-face and marched from the room. The moment the door closed, the 3 of us doubled over in our chairs, shaking silently. About 15 seconds later we let it out, howling with laughter!

Then Mike told us how he found the Budweiser can along the road and had thoroughly washed and bleached it before filling it with 7-UP. He thought it would be funny to see what kind of reactions he got from everyone by drinking pop out of a beer can. Well, it certainly was an entertaining and educational experiment.